


Penis-Alotta

by Dodo



Series: I anthropomorphize everything [27]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crack, Desert Island, Getting Together, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut, Vampire Sex, Vampire Tony Stark, coconut cult
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22026733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dodo/pseuds/Dodo
Summary: Tony is stranded after his private jet was knocked out of the sky, on his return from Asia. Luckily the island is densely covered with palm trees, unfortunately the only food that could nourish him is also his least liked food. This island vacation is not what vampire Tony had in mind, he’s gotta make due on this new vegetarian diet.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: I anthropomorphize everything [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1275044
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	Penis-Alotta

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyLace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLace/gifts).



> prompt form the POTS 18+ discord server.
> 
> 12/30/2019 12:06 pm est  
> I added more content to the end

It was terrible Tony had taken a nap on his lovely private jet and had woken up in sandlando or bumfuck nowhere in the ocean on a tiny island. He was going to have a nasty sunburn and peel for days, and have to fight off his lizard hind brain in refusing to eat his shed skin. He huffed angrily and made haste to the tree line at least there looked to be enough trees to cast a decent shadow.

Fuck you sun, he wasn’t going to eat his peely skin. If anyone had said that vampires had a lot of baser instincts Tony would have laughed for A vampires don’t exist and B refer to A. Though here he was a vampire for about how many years now? He wasn’t sure if it had been all that business with Vanko. He’d been turned against his will while dying from palladium poisoning.

Of course, he found out that being a vampire did nothing to prevent said poisoning, useless he could barely drink booze, and only really eat red meat. He told Pep he’d started the keto diet, and if the vegetables were cooked in the right amount of iron and mineral ratio he could eat it. They had little to no taste though and his desire to eat food or blood had dropped off considerably. Which was partially due to the perpetual after taste of coconut from the new element in his chest.

Tony despised the taste of coconut. So it was no small wonder that he found himself alone on and island that had an abundance of coconuts. It was ironic, He really needed blood though and look at the shore line. He could possibly try the animals first. There had been rumors of non human suckers from what he dare investigate of the vampirism.

He had a sinking suspicion that it really only worked with mammals, but he would give it a try. Not like he could live off coconuts or anything.

Fish made him woozy, they were hard enough to catch that it made him unwilling to try a bigger one as he poked the scales out of his teeth. He turned his sights on the crab he’d caught, in hindsight he should have remembered that crabs didn’t have iron in their blood at all, their blood was copper based. The first pull had tasted funny, but the flesh had been sweet and tender and the satisfaction of breaking the caprice with his fangs had given him a bot of a rush.

He passed out under a palm tree with the vague memory of feeling really hungover and his skin a startling shade of green. He woke up after he vomited on himself and gazed up the tree eyes landing on the coconuts as his stomach gurgled.  
-  
You could live as a vampire live off coconuts, a double edged sword for Tony he wanted to live so he had to make do with draining the coconuts, and gag over the woody pulpy flavor of them. They were so much work to open from the husk, eventually he’d found a sharp enough rock to bash it till the fibers split and he could wiggle in a dull piece of scrap metal and pry the husk open.

So he spent his time on the island watching the sun as it travels across the sky while sucking the life out of coconuts, but also the undesired effect of pooping a lot because apparently when you drank coconut milk that was a thing. Watching the sun from the shade of the trees hanging out in his hammock he made with old fabric he’d found while navigating the tiny island.

It wasn’t a bad life if dreadfully boring, and the taste of coconut haunting him. He’d made a tiny fire pit for all the old husks. Luckily the coconut husks didn’t smell like coconuts, the drained nuts did only because Tony was resolutely refusing to eat the coconut meat. It was like eating soft wood, with minimal flavor and Tony had his reservations about just hauling off and eating wood like that.

If anything the coconut diet was making him thinner than he’d ever want to be, Sometimes he’d catch a fish and struggle through eating it once he soaked it in coconut milk. They had to many bones, but at least the fish would give him enough energy to do something besides napping the day away. Like exploring the island which is how he found the strange coconut shrine.

Strange coconut effigies and stone that had been weathered away and corroded by creeping vines. Old carvings that may have indicated some sort of language, Tony turned the place over slowly and that was how he found a dark almost blue looking coconut. Nestled on what looked to be some sort of stone throne. The coconut god or something, the relief depicted as a coconut that descended from the heavens.

Tony shook it and lo it had milk inside of it so he did the only logical thing one would do that had nothing to eat but coconuts on a deserted island for a few weeks. He bit into the top where the three indentations where and sucked on the blue coconut, and it moaned. Or Tony moaned he wasn’t sure because the coconut tasted like Pina colada. Tony hated that drink but it was better than coconut milk thanks to the pineapple so he sucked happily away on the strange blue nut.

It was moaning, Tony only realized halfway through filling his belly that the coconut seemed to enjoy this as much as Tony was. Which was peculiar and Tony shrugged it off as a hallucination he was probably dying. He finished of the coconut and dropped it, belly full of nutrients he climbed into his hammock to sleep.

When Tony woke the blue coconut was in the hammock with him, strange he thought he’d left it on the ground. Picking it up, it was full again? He rubbed his thumb over the three indentations no blemish from his bite. Was it a magic coconut? He sank his fangs into it again and sucked down the pina colada concoction once more.

He could feel the nut shiver under him and moan, what the fuck was this? Tony pulled away abruptly and squinted at the coconut. It remained still, he rubbed his fingers over the healing marks from his fangs. It was magical? Was that why someone built a shrine for it? A magical sky coconut that tasted like some beach drink.

“I couldn’t care less,”  
Tony muttered to himself as he went back down on the coconut for more, anything to replace the coconut aftertaste. He drained it a second time and left it in the hammock with him as he napped, intending to calculate how long the thing would need to recover but. Tony fell asleep for most of the day after his second pull from the blue coconut.  
-  
Tony was warm, something heavy was settled on top of him. Tony was hard, there was something hard pushing back. He opened his eyes to see a blond hunk naked and rutting up against him. His clothes had been removed but he found himself uncaring of that. Wrapping his arms around the hunk who startled at the movement.

“The man of my dreams,”  
“Steve, I’m… thank you for breaking the curse let me repay you.”  
Tony arched up against Steve, who might have been that coconut that he’d taken from the alter. He wasn’t going to question the coconut gods on this gift. The friction was delicious pulling at his skin just right. 

“You smell like coconuts.”  
Steve spoke in a husky tone, even though what he said was very unsexy Tony didn’t mind as he rolled his hips up using his talents to make Steve moan. Steve returned the thrust and Tony groaned trying to get the upper hand in the hammock when Steve was pinning him to the bottom. It was arousing to see the muscles ripple as he pressed Tony down.

Steve possessed more strength than Tony did, which made the flame of desire cue into his belly as his dick twitched with a heavy need. Steve settled so he sat on Tony’s chest, his dick looming and Tony lapped at it. Steve used one of his fingers to nick the skin under the head and then he offered the red drops to Tony.

“This is what you need, have some.”  
Tony latched on to the dick lapping greeidly at the wound. Making sure to pay some attention to the rest of it, Steve pressed his dick down to the back of his throat and the blood was so delicious. It had been ages since Tony had any blood so these few drops seemed to me more potent than he realized after weeks on the coconut diet.

Tony clawed at Steve’s thighs as Steve pressed deeper into him. He could feel the balls lift and soon Steve would cum. The wound was already starting to heal the blood was sluggishly oozing out. Steve must have some sort of healing factor as he pistoned his dick into Tony’s mouth, then pulling to about halfway. Steve wanted Tony to taste him, so Tony pressed his tongue to the head and the taste of pina colada erupted into Tony’s mouth and down his throat. 

Steve pulled back smiling as he reached around his back and fumbled for Tony’s dick. Twisting his hands over the shaft and pinching the head just so. All while watching Tony’s face, his mouth opened and a bit of cum dribbling from his mouth. The dream man had pina colada cum it made more sense so when he’d been a coconut Tony had been giving it oral? 

Steve twisted his hand just right over the upstroke and Tony came with a shout, watch Steve work him, milking him of his cum while behind Steve’s back was pretty damn hot. Watching Steve lick his hand clean of Tony’s spent was also hot. Till Steve made a face, frowning over the cum on his hands.  
“You taste like the ocean, and a faint after taste of coconut.”  
“Not everyone comes pina colada coconut man.”

The comment was spoken drowsily he was feeling pretty good right now and found Steve’s disgruntled face amusing. Steve did lick his hand clean though but didn’t look like he enjoyed it very much. Steve patted Tony’s face.  
“Tony are you okay?”  
“I’m trying to sleep, see this is me sleeping.”

Tony closed his eyes and turned away from Steve trying to nap. Steve moved around and Tony cracked an eye open.  
“How are you still hard?”  
“The serum, may I rub against you?”  
Steve’s response ought to have jolted Tony some but he was too focused on the last bit that Steve had said. He could feel a bit of heat coil in his tummy but his penis didn’t rise it was tuckered out it seemed.

“Sure Steve, my butt and between my legs,”  
Tony slurred as he rolled to present his ass for Steve.  
“Thank you Tony!”

Tony drifted in his nap with the rhythmic ministrations from Steve. He could feel the large warm hands on his ass kneading it until Tony was soft and fuzzy on the inside. Steve managed to pull soft little moans from Tony with that and then, Steve thrusting between his legs that felt pretty good too. Steve rocked the hammock with his passion and Tony fell into a deep easy slumber.  
-  
When Tony came too with a mighty stretch, cracking his spine and resetting in the hammock. He yawned still tired it seemed, the warm body of Steve was there tucked into the hammock on his side, fingers tracing Tony’s arc reactor and the scars, He smiled at Tony and kissed him on the cheek. Tony’s questions about Steve being a coconut vanished he could live with this. Who cares if Steve had been a coconut at first? Tony didn’t, he sighed and turned into Steve settling back down to sleep.


End file.
